They say for you to enjoy and relish every moment when your child is born. They say it’s the most exciting thing that can happen to you and your spouse. They say that you will have so much fun raising children. But what they don’t tell you, mama, is how hard it can be. How much it will try your patience. How much you will end up raising your voice or yelling at them. And then after, how guilty you feel.
Mama, you are not alone. I’m pretty sure every mama out there has (excuse me for saying this) lost their shit at one time or another. And it won’t be the first time. Because most of you that I know, motherhood just started within the past 5-7 years. Sometimes you get so frustrated that you don’t know what to do. You may be alone with the children. Or maybe you and your spouse are with the kids. Or maybe you and other family members are with you and the kids. It happens. And it can happen at any stage the children go through. I may not be too far along in this parenting journey, but I can tell you there have been more times than not that I’ve lost my cool.
My children are 5 and 2. Both are boys. I love them with all my heart. But sometimes the chaos gets to me. Let’s face it, it gets to me more times than not. I try to be cool and collected but there are times that I snap. Or times that I yell my response. Or better yet, I try to argue with my 5 year old. My husband will totally call me out on arguing with my 5 year old when he’s around. Or better yet, I just yell. They still won’t listen sometimes. It’s discouraging. But I’m not alone right? I mean, there are other mama’s out there that feel the same way, right? I’m wondering if you’re sitting there reading this thinking, “yes, I’ve felt that way” or “no, I haven’t felt that way”. Either way, the one thing that I know, is that you rock, mama. You are amazing. You have gone through so much already, no matter where you are on this motherhood journey. Know that you are doing a great job raising your children. And they truly do love you. Regardless if they say otherwise (when they are able to talk, because it will happen), they do love you so much. You are their world. You have already done so much for them and will continue doing. Because you are their mother.
So mama, with all that said, do you have a way that you deal with this frustration that comes about? A few things that I have done to help me are the following:
Meditation – I do this first thing in the morning and then again half way through the day. It’s not for long period of time – maybe 5 minutes in the morning, but the afternoon one is about 10-15 minutes. Occasionally, I will do a short sleep meditation at night if I feel I need it.
Step away for a couple minutes – Even if I am by myself with the kiddos, if I’m frustrated, I walk away for a few minutes. Don’t get me wrong, they need my attention, but I just need a couple minutes to breath. I sometimes go into the bathroom (anyone else?). Sometimes, I just put the TV on for a little bit while I re-set by looking at a couple things on my phone. I mean, who hasn’t done that? If my husband is home when I’m frustrated he can totally see my feelings. He tells me to go take a minute. I’ll usually go sit down on the couch or go upstairs to our bedroom for a couple minutes and just breath or check out something on my phone. He totally gets me.
Take a Breath – yes I said it and it sounds silly, doesn’t it? Just take a moment, close those eyes (if you can) and take a big deep breath. Do it again. Do it a couple times. The power of a breath is amazing.
Time for me – ladies, I can’t tell you how much this totally helps me. I get up early and use that as time for me. I take a fitness class, just for me. I write, just for me. I get out with friends. I take time for myself and refresh. I make all that time. I go out with a friend or a few friends a couple times a month. Sometime it’s a couple times a week! And yes my husband is OK with it. I just schedule all the time I need and tell him. As long as there are no conflicts with things he has going on, he’s OK with it. He knows how much I need it. And I don’t have to ask for permission. (That’s a topic for another time).
So mamas, you are not alone. You got this. You are amazing. You rock! Remember, you are doing a great job raising your children and they love you no matter what. Much love to all the mamas.